Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a nice Christmas holiday and hasn't found it too tough to get back into their daily routines. I have now been back in Paris for a week and it has really been a mix of emotions. I thought it was going to be nearly impossible to leave home after such a great holiday spent with my family but I was wrong. With everyone else heading back to their jobs, school and other adventures I was surprisingly OK with leaving again. At the airport in Vancouver, I had to change flights at the last minute to go through Montreal instead of Paris because I was going to miss my connection otherwise. The flight going through Montreal was taking off in 30 minutes so I really had no time at all to say good bye to Mom and Dale at the airport. I know if I was given the chance, I would have cried and it would have been harder so I guess it was a blessing that I had to rush.
On my flight from Montreal to Paris, I was bumped into business class because the flight was otherwise full. It was very luxurious and I felt like my luck was changing and things were looking up for me. I got to Paris with a real positive energy and was quite happy to be back. I was also a little worried that my french would have suffered in the 2 week break but I was wrong and after a chat with cab driver, I felt like I was right where I had left off.
After the first day or 2, my high of positive energy seemed to diminish very quickly and I immediately felt like getting back on the plane and going home. I am not sure what caused the sudden change but all at once I was sad and frustrated again. This past weekend, I was able to get out of the house quite a bit and spend some time with different friends and do some exploring. Being out in the fresh air felt good, and Sunday was even sunny so I was able to take some good pictures. With all these massive mood swings I am having it is hard for me to decipher how I really am feeling about this whole experience. After my French class this morning I had a good chat with a German girl from my class. She was expressing basically exactly what I was saying in that she also can't decide how she feels about this experience and sometimes feels like packing up and going home. Its hard to explain it to people back home because we are in Paris after all, we should be soaking up every minute of the experience and seeing all their is to see. The truth is, being an aupair can be lonely, challenging, frustrating and very emotional. It definitely makes you appreciate what you have at home.
I know I am only 4 months in out of an 11 month contract so I will not be giving up any time soon. I have a lot to look forward to in the next coming months, including some visits from family and friends! I think if I am able to separate the time up with little trips and visits in between, things will go faster and be much more enjoyable.
I will try to get some pictures up for you this week.
Much love,
Margaux
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